About the Book

Have you ever wondered if your houseplants are silently judging you?

Maybe you think you and your foliated friends are happily cohabitating. Maybe you bought them on a whim and hardly think about them at all. Maybe things are a bit more complicated.

Is it possible that your plants have inner lives that run deeper than their roots? That your fiddle-leaf fig finds you pathetic? That your majesty palm is deeply disdainful? Or that your philodendron has been eyeing your man?

Just because your plants can't speak doesn't mean they don't have a lot to say. Proceed with caution. Once you peek into the tangled minds of these dirt-loving deviants, you might never feel at home with your houseplants again.

Kris Reguera

Book Blogger for FroggyReachTeach

A hilariously sarcastic book.

Jeryl Marcus

Says Me Says Mom Blog

Even if you don't care about plants at all, this book is a fun read.

Meet the Author

Renowned botanist, soil balance and moisture expert, plant psychological enthusiast, and five-time recipient of Plant Weekly's "Most Emotionally Balanced Garden" award, Carlyle Christoff is considered by many in the Botano-psychological community to be “the voice” on plant thoughts and behaviors. After attending a prestigious Ivy League school, Christoff spent several years in rainforest plant communication intensives in Southeast Asia as well as Central and South American where he learned the secret language of humanity’s green co-inhabitants of Planet Earth.

Meet the Author

A lifetime lover of books, Elisabeth Saake has devoted most of her working life to publishing. She began her career as an editorial assistant at a New York literary agency before realizing the Big Apple was just a bit too big for her small-town heart. She’s been lucky to remain in various roles within book publishing while moving to progressively smaller towns ever since. Elisabeth is a creek lover, a podcast devotee, and has many, many, f*cked-up thoughts. She lives in Chico, CA, with her husband, two sons, and loads of disgruntled houseplants.