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In my book "Chaos to Calm," I share various strategies that help mothers prioritize their well-being amidst the demands of motherhood. Here are some tips and insights from the book and personal anecdotes for moms to honor and prioritize themselves:
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries about your time and commitments. Explain these boundaries to your family to help them understand your need for personal time, whether it's for exercise, hobbies, or simply resting.
Self-Care Routine: Moms need self-care routines that are both realistic and rejuvenating. This might include daily exercises, meditation, or engaging in a hobby that you love. Before children, I had a wonderful relationship with mornings. That all shifted with kids and I found myself waking up and going straight into mommy mode without thinking about how I would set myself up for success for the day. With an intentional effort to create a morning routine that would fill my cup and set me up for a successful, grounded day, I spent a few months trialing different morning rituals and routines. Now, after I wake up, while still in bed, I listen to a short guided meditation and do a 1-minute stretch routine, and then listen to 5 minutes of mindset priming while brushing my teeth and getting ready for the day. These few minutes have not only shifted my mornings but also my relationship with my kids and husband. I start the day grounded, grateful, and with a smile on my face.
Ask for Help: Seek help when you need it. You don't have to do it all. No one is telling you that you do. This can be from partners, family members, or even professional services. It made a world of difference when I delegated laundry to the kids. Once they started folding and putting away their own laundry, I was able to sit with the family and be present during our evening couch hang time and not sit there resenting my family for not helping fold their own clothes.
Stay Connected: Encourage maintaining connections with friends and other adults. Social interactions can provide emotional support and a sense of community. I make sure to spend at least an hour with a friend every week and it fills my cup knowing that I have even just one hour where I am not responsible for anyone or have to do anything other than just be with someone who doesn’t need anything from me.
Mindfulness and Reflection: Journaling and mindfulness exercises are powerful tools for maintaining emotional and mental clarity, particularly for busy moms who often juggle multiple responsibilities. Often when I am feeling overwhelmed or having a difficult time I will journal just to release the build-up of internal pressure. As I write it all out, I release the pain from staying inside me and can gain a new perspective and process what I am going through,
Celebrate Small Victories: It is important to celebrate the small victories every day. Whether it’s a successful bedtime routine or a moment of peace during the day, recognizing these successes can boost morale and break up the monotony of everyday life, especially when we are doing so much and don’t always feel like we have accomplished much. You are doing great mama!! Well done!
Learn to Say No: Saying “no'' to one thing is saying “yes” to another. The key here is knowing what your values and priorities are so you aren’t stretching yourself thin saying yes to everything. Saying no to asks that are not aligned with personal or family priorities is a self-care practice, it’s hard at first, but gets easier with time. Stick with it - you’ll be happy you did.
